


Vain Valentine

by melancholide



Category: TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: Angst, Cheating, M/M, Post-Break Up, i think this fic gonna ruins someone's valentines, kai left soobin but he deserved it, slight soogyu, slight yeonkai, this is just a fiction so please don't hate anyone
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-15 02:35:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,506
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29428920
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/melancholide/pseuds/melancholide
Summary: February 14th this year was supposed to be their seventh anniversary. But six months ago, Hueningkai had decided to go, leaving Soobin with all the regrets.
Relationships: Choi Soobin/Huening Kai
Comments: 6
Kudos: 22





	Vain Valentine

**Author's Note:**

> Hello :D
> 
> This is my first time writing in English (actually i just translated it from my native language). Thanks to Asa (gokurakuji) who helped me beta-read this work. ILY!!!
> 
> I'm sorry, I have to post this on Valentine's Day. You can go back if you don't like angst and pain. But if you are okay with it and decide to stay here, please enjoy!

The typing sound of the keyboard and ringing of the telephone described how hectic the office was. It was 2:00 p.m — at this hour the housewives would have been relaxing while turning on the television and watching cooking demonstrations with new products offered by home shopping companies. The Advertising Division had done a great job — now it was the turn of the people behind the phone to answer all the orders that came in.

"We have recorded your order, Ma’am. Please wait for the package to be delivered to your home. Thank you very much."

The man who became one of the hotline officers hung up the phone with a smile. The moment he put the receiver back, he sighed and banged his head against the table. It hadn't been half a day yet but he was already tired. 

He took out his cellphone from his pocket to just get rid of boredom. He only intended to check the time, but a notification distracted him. A reminder from the calendar was displayed, which was set to turn on at nine o'clock. He might have been too busy to notice when the reminder flashed. He tapped the notification to see the details of the reminder — a decision he immediately regretted.

_ Valentine's Day and 7th Anniversary! with Soobinie >3< _

Again, he took a deep breath. He tapped the dismiss button to remove the notification from the screen. He laid the cellphone carelessly on the table, to focus again on the monitor screen in front of him.

He could only hope that he can refocus.

In fact, it wasn't that easy to get back to concentrating after receiving the annual reminder. He did everything he could to erase the memory of today's date seven years ago and specifically,  _ that _ person. He certainly couldn't celebrate — the office would be very busy today, he didn’t have time to think about it. But, that was not the main reason why he could no longer celebrate Valentine’s Day, which was also the seventh anniversary with his lover.

That day made the seventh anniversary they were waiting for, turning into a nightmare. An incident that made Kai stop hoping to be with his lover any longer. Six months ago, when he thought everything would be as beautiful as ever, turned into the most painful day he didn't want to remember. And with just one notification, a memory flashed back in his mind — reminded him of a scar that had been scratched so deeply in his heart.

***

_**Six months ago** _

The man walked cheerfully along the apartment lobby. With a package in his hand, he walked quickly toward the elevator and tapped the number nine. The curve of the smile on his face had not faded while waiting on the floor he was aiming for.

He thought that day was his happiest day. After being unemployed for five months, he finally found a new job. Not a job that matched his former college major, nor a job that suited his passion— just a job that no one paid much attention to — a customer service worker at a home shopping company. Nearly half a year of unemployment made him realize that he must be grateful for whatever God has given him.

As a sign of gratitude, he intended to have dinner with his lover, Soobin, in the man's apartment. He wanted to share the good news and celebrate it in small ways, like spend the night only with Soobin. He would also announce his apartment moving tomorrow, because the office location was quite far from where he lived then. There were many things that he had not shared with Soobin. Soobin had been very busy lately with his band, so there was less time for them to get together. This was the right moment for him to become intimate with Soobin again by celebrating small things like this.

The elevator finally opened on the 9th floor. He immediately stepped outside and walked quickly — impatient to meet his lover and see the man's reaction to his arrival. Kai didn't tell Soobin on purpose — the man rarely replied to his messages because of his business, and he decided to come as a surprise himself. Arriving at the door of the apartment, he inserted the passcode he had memorized on top of his head — Soobin's birthday in reverse numeric order.

The door was wide open. But, there was no sign of the resident of the apartment. Kai turned out the light so it could illuminate his vision. "Soobin?" He called softly, suspecting that Soobin might fall asleep. He walked to the kitchen to put the packaged samgyeopsal for dinner, when he heard strange noises from the room.

Kai frowned, listening to that voice. The moaning of two people. Could Soobin be watching porn? Considering that his lover was quite perverted, he was not surprised. But the voice wasn't like the sound coming out of television or phone — made him even more puzzled. So, driven by high curiosity, he walked slowly towards the source of the sound.

The bedroom door was closed, but when Kai turned the knob softly, it was unlocked. The voice grew clearer — Soobin's voice, and another voice that he didn't recognize. His heart was beating fast, his palms were wet with sweat. In his mind he denied — however, he wouldn't know the truth if he didn't confirm it himself.

Kai oponed the door to make a small gap. And his eyes caught something that he wouldn’t believe. With glazed eyes, he stared at what was in the room — two people on the bed, naked, mingling with heat. Kai couldn’t recognize the owner of the black hair down below — but he knew very well the figure that was on the top. His face could only be seen from the side because he and the unknown man were kissing — but Kai had absolutely no doubt that the man above the other was really Soobin.

Everything around him stopped at once. His lungs felt tight when he saw the indecent scene before him. And the fact that Soobin, the person he cared about the most, his lover for nearly seven years, betrayed him in plain sight, made him feel like he had been hit by a hammer. His world was destroyed in an instant.

With trembling fingers, he closed the door again. For a moment he was transfixed in front of the door against the disgusting sound of the couple in the room. He took a deep breath, and exhaled softly, before walking slowly towards the dining table.

He grabbed a memo and tore it apart. He wrote a message on the paper to stick on the  _ samgyeopsal  _ package that he had brought earlier. Without saying much, he packed his things and left the apartment immediately.

Along the way to the nearest bus stop, he didn't react. His face was flat with a blank stare, as if he had never seen the painful scene. He walked with his usual steadfast strides — shocking himself by the habit, even though he knew that he was not fine. 

The bus arrived thereafter, and he headed for the second empty seat from the front. He threw his butt against the bench and leaned his head against the window. The feeling of tightness didn’t go away but since earlier there were no tears streaming down his cheeks. He became numb— perhaps that word that best describes his current state.

He opened the cell phone, pressed the dial button for one of his main contacts. The call was connected shortly after Kai called the person. He put the phone to his ear with still trembling hands.

"What's up?"

"Tyun, can I stay at your place tonight?"

"You said you wanted to spend the night with Soobin—"

"I thought ... I broke up with Soobin."

There was a moment of silence. His best friend Taehyun was probably as surprised as he was a while ago. A sigh was heard from across the phone. Without asking too many questions, Taehyun was able to understand the situation Kai was currently in.

"Fine. I'm still outside and I'll be home in twenty minutes. If you get there first, just go straight to my apartment, okay?"

Kai nodded slowly — although he knew that Taehyun might not be able to see him. "Thank you, Tyun." Without much chatter, he immediately hung up the call.

He leaned his head back against the window. The night view outside the window passed swiftly with the speed of the bus. All memories flashed back to what he had been through — joy, sadness, laughter, tears, all the great moments in his life he had with Soobin.

He dug into his memory further. Long before his seven years together with Soobin, in order to find an answer: how to live without Soobin after this? How can he live it all by himself? Seven years with Soobin's presence in his life made this man a part of his life as well.

Suddenly, warm tears were dripping on the window sills. His gaze remained blank looking outside, but the tears didn't stop wetting his cheeks.

***

Kai was back from his reverie by the knock on his table. As soon as he looked up, a male figure with blue hair was looking at him with raised eyebrows. Realizing that he had just stepped into reality, he finally replied to his boss with a faint smile.

"Daydreaming at work, huh?"

Kai gulped nervously. Awkwardly, he bent over to the figure in front of him.

"I'm sorry, Supervisor Choi."

A smile bloomed on Supervisor Choi's lips, and he chuckled at the awkwardness of his men.

"It’s okay. As long as you keep answering the phone and taking orders, I won't scold you, Kai. "

Kai noticed how his supervisor treats him warmly. However, Kai still felt embarrassed because he was caught reminiscing about the past in front of his superior.

Supervisor Choi chuckled softly, trying to break the ice. "Never mind. There's no need to be awkward. I'm not here to watch over you, really. I just want to take you out to dinner tonight. Would you come?"

The offer was a bit of a surprise to Kai. He looked up once more to meet his supervisor face-to-face. The man waited for the answer while tapping his fingertips on the surface of the partitions.

"Today I'm planning to work overtime, Supervisor Choi. I don't think so. "

Supervisor Choi waved his right hand in front of his face. "It's Valentine’s Day, don't you want to have fun? Since the start, you've always been working. Join me to relieve stress. You don't have to worry, the others will come too. But next time I just want to be alone with you, though." The man scratched his nape.

Kai weighed the offer. Come to think of it, there's nothing wrong with accepting Supervisor Choi's invitation. If he joined him, maybe he could take his mind off the reminder that just appeared in the notification. At least there was no chance for him to reflect alone on what had passed and would not happen.

Kai smiled politely at his boss, then nodded slowly. "Okay, I'll come."

That grin grew wider. Out of nowhere, Kai could see his supervisor's face flushed slightly. “A-alright, when work hours are over, wait for me in the lobby. We will use Ryujin's car. See you tonight, Kai. "

"See you later, Supervisor Choi."

“Yeonjun. You can call me Yeonjun. "

Kai nodded. "Okay, Yeonjun-nim."

The man waved his hand stiffly, and turned around. Leaving Kai who was still wearing an awkward smile.

When the man walked away, Kai didn't know what to do. He waited for the next telephone ring to come in, but the object did not make a sound. He moved the cursor on the monitor — intending to check incoming orders — but he himself had lost focus on what he was going to do.

Maybe he didn't realize it, but even those around him knew that he had been immersed in work since it happened. Taehyun scolded him before finally understanding what Kai was trying to do. It's normal, right, if he wants to forget his lover by keeping busy? He was just trying to fill his day with positive things. He wanted to walk away from the past and not let himself be drowned by his own feelings.

After six months passed, he finally felt better than before. Although the workload stressed him, his life felt more meaningful because it was filled with something other than dissolving in the pain of the wound. The most painful phase of his heartbreak was over, and he was more accepting of what had happened. He thought he didn’t 't know how to live without Soobin, but now, he still lived even though Soobin was no longer by his side.

Choi Yeonjun was a good man. It wasn’t that he didn't pay attention to how Yeonjun had been treating him all this time. The supervisor had been very nice to him from the first day he worked, but he was not unaware that there was something unusual about his boss.

He knew, but didn't want to think about it. He didn't want to rush into a romantic relationship with other people — he had enough by himself. One bright side that he just realized: after seven years, he could feel the freedom that he never got during his relationship with Soobin.

Kai looked up at the clear sky behind the window. Maybe it's true what people say, time will heal everything. Even so, he was proud of himself, who had gone through all of this. So that he can keep going and forget about the painful memory.

***

A ray of sunlight pierced the slit of the gray curtain and hit a man's face. The man frowned, before turning to the dark side of the bed and continuing to sleep. In a few moments, he didn't move at all — he fell asleep shirtless, only in sweatpants and part of his body wrapped in the blanket. He could only sleep at 3 a.m. and exhausted. He didn’t want to be disturbed even when the sun outside had risen to the horizon.

Unfortunately, the phone ringing on the nightstand didn't seem to want to let him sleep peacefully. The rectangular object didn't stop making a sound, forcing him to open his eyes. Without opening his eyes, he grabbed it and slid the green button to answer the phone.

"Damn, what are you doing?!" His voice was hoarse and lazy. He didn't even care about the name on the screen — he just wanted to curse the person on the other side who dared to disturb his sleep.

"Soobin, are you awake?"

The voice on the other side was the opposite — a voice full of tenderness. He opened his eyes slightly to peek at the caller. Beomgyu. He got up slowly and sat beside the bed.

"Yes."

"Have you eaten something? If not, I can stop by your apartment and bring me what I cooked today. "

Soobin ruffled his hair restlessly. "No need, Beom. I’m not hungry. By the way, why are you calling?"

"I'm just a bit worried. You're so hard to contact lately, are you staying up late at the studio again? "

Soobin sighed as he rubbed his face. "Yeah," he said simply.

From there, there was a moment of silence. The pause was awkward, but Soobin didn't really care what Beomgyu was going to say — he just wanted to go back to sleep.

“Don't stay up late too often, Soobin. Pay attention to your health too. By the way, Taehyungie-hyung asked, are you doing the live music at the cafe tonight? "

Ah, right. He promised to fill in live music at Beomgyu's brother's cafe tonight. He removed the smartphone from his ear to check the watch. It was 2:00 p.m., and in less than four hours he would have a briefing on tonight's performance with his band.

He put his cellphone back in place to answer Beomgyu. "I just remembered. All right, I'll be there before 7. I will tell my members first. "

"Okay. See you later, Soobin. I miss you."

"Yup."

Hurriedly turning off the phone, he threw the phone on the bed. He tried to get some more sleep before getting ready. His eyes opened again as soon as he remembered that he had not reminded the band members about tonight's schedule. Before he could text his members, a notification distracted him. An annual reminder.

_ 7 th year with Kai _

Turned out he still had it in the calendar.

At first, he wanted to immediately press the dismiss button and get back to business, but somehow his thumb tapped the reminder to see the calendar details.

There weren't any details, only the text he had read earlier. He sets reminders at 9:00 am — every year it's the same. The reminder was actually useless, because Soobin would always remember the date of his anniversary with his lover. He chose Valentine as an anniversary for a reason.

Only this time Soobin almost forgot. But, even if he remembered, nothing would change from his relationship with his lover. Exactly six months ago, Kai suddenly disappeared and cut all contact with him. Soobin realized that it was his own stupidity — he didn't need to guess what the reason Kai suddenly left him at that time.

***

_**Six months ago** _

He still remembered that day. Like most mornings he passed, Soobin woke up because the sun was already bright outside. Nothing was different, except for his naked body and someone sound asleep beside him — and he knew very well that it was not his lover.

Soobin immediately grabbed the pants he wore last night and put them on again. Beside him, Beomgyu seemed asleep quietly, so he didn't dare bother. How many times did they do it last night, twice? Three times? To be sure, Soobin himself was quite tired.

He dragged his steps towards the bathroom to wash himself. After that, he planned to make breakfast to fill his empty stomach. He was about to open the refrigerator when a package caught his attention.  _ Who left this here?  _ Soobin thought. He opened the parcel and checked its contents. Samgyeopsal, his favorite food, with a container that he knows who owned it. This container belonged to his boyfriend, Kai.

Not yet finished his confusion, on the soles of his feet stuck a paper. He grabbed the paper from his feet. His heart beat faster as soon as he turned the memo over.

And on that piece of paper, there was a handwriting that he knew very well — Kai's handwriting.

_ Dear Soobin, _

_ I wanted to take you to dinner together and tell you good news, hehe. But it looks like you are busy with someone else, so I'll just leave this samgyeopsal. Eat and share with him. Hope you like it. _

_ Love you, _

_ Kai _

Soobin was shocked when he read the contents of the memo. Without wasting any time, he immediately opened the container again and felt the temperature of the food Kai delivered. It was very cold — maybe the effect of leaving it outside all night.

His logic said that Kai may have been long gone, but his limbs are moving faster than his mind. He immediately grabbed the cellphone on the nightstand in his room, pressed the dial button on his lover's number — hoping there was still a way to explain everything to Kai.

There was only an operator's voice saying that Kai's number was out of range.

Frantically, he immediately dialed the number of anyone who could possibly know Kai's whereabouts — the same, nothing. All those people, for some reason, didn't pick up the phone at all.

***

That day flashed back into his memory. Mixed feelings of worry and guilt, and he could still taste it today. It turned out that it had been six months since Kai just disappeared from his life, without him knowing where his lover had gone.

Soobin thought, maybe Kai needed some time alone. Besides that, he was also quite busy with his music and his band, so that he didn’t have much time to spend. But for days, Kai didn't even call or text him. He even just realized that Kai blocked him from all social medias. None of Kai's friends knew about Kai's situation, or maybe they just didn’t want to tell him. All the ways for them to communicate seemed cut off suddenly.

He also went to Kai's apartment to talk directly. But what he found was even more surprising. The apartment was empty. The owner said Kai left a few days ago in a hurry — he left a lot of his belongings. At that moment Soobin realized that he had completely lost track of Kai.

Time flies, but everything about Kai still loomed over him. His lover was almost never like this even when he was angry, and Soobin knew for sure that he had made an unforgivable mistake if Kai got this way.

He threw the cell phone to the side of his head. His tongue tasted bitter, and he could only close his eyes with his arms. If Soobin could say a reason, he would be honest that he was just bored with Kai at that time. That false feeling bothered him, which was why he was looking for an escape — Beomgyu was there when he needed it by chance..

But what was the meaning of a temporary escape, if it had to be paid for by losing Kai forever?

Soobin was too slow to realize, many things went missing without Kai by his side. All the moments that they had passed through the seven years were still like hallucinations. Kai has left, escaped from his grip. All plans for Valentine's this year were in vain — he might never feel the warm presence of his boyfriend again.

***

The streets on Valentine's day were filled with young couples. Every place, be it a cafe or a restaurant, was full of lovers celebrating Valentine's Day. Basically, this area was already crowded on weekdays, but it felt even busier, especially at night.

Kai walked down the street with slow steps. A person followed beside him, while continuing to watch his face from the side. Realizing that he hadn't stopped being stared at, Kai turned his face to cover the blush on his cheeks.

"Why are you looking over there? Is there anything interesting about a restaurant full of people?" joked Yeonjun.

Kai replied with an awkward laugh. "Since last time, Yeonjun-nim also looked into this direction. Do you find it interesting?"

Yeonjun frowned, as if in thought. A moment later, he replied with a crooked smile. “I do. But not those people. Just someone."

Kai raised his eyebrows with interest. "Oh? Where is that person? "

Yeonjun grabbed Kai's cheeks and turned them in front of his face. "This is it!" he said with a laugh.

Kai was unable to hold back the blush on his face. The smile that adorned his lips could not be held back anymore.

“Cheesy. I just found out that my boss is sooooo cheesy. "

Yeonjun returned Kai's teasing with a brighter laugh. After that, they returned to dissolve with various discussions. Along the way they were so caught up in random conversations from the restaurant. Sometimes they laugh, sometimes they get serious again. Kai just found out that Yeonjun would be very fun to talk to.

"Too bad, my car is broken. I can only walk you on foot. "

Kai responded with a low nod. "No problem. My apartment is not far from here. The problem is, how will you come back later?”

"I'll order a taxi from your house. Besides, this way we can chat a lot, right? I can get to know you more."

Kai just laughed softly at Yeonjun's answer. Yeonjun replied with a smile, tightening his coat. The transition from winter to spring was still chilling at night, making him shiver. He was about to put his hand in his jacket pocket, when he realized that his cell phone was not there. He felt his other pockets, but still couldn’t find his cell phone.

"Shit. Looks like I left it on the table earlier. Hopefully Ryujin is still there. Kai, will you wait for me here? I have to go back and make sure my cell phone is still there. "

Kai looked at Yeonjun with a worried expression. "Want me to take you back to the restaurant?"

Yeonjun shook his head. “No, just wait here. I'll hurry. Wait a minute, okay? "

Kai stared at Yeonjun's turning back and moving away quickly. He sighed as he looked around him. He had arrived at a quite busy T-junction. At least, he wasn't really alone.

But suddenly, someone caught his eye, making his whole body stiffened. That person was standing across the street from where Kai was standing, as frozen as he was. Then passing vehicles had made him feel it was just a hallucination. Unfortunately, no — the man was literally standing across the street, and staring at him.

***

This long night finally got through Soobin. He felt discouraged since waking up, especially the memory that this was a special day — it should be — didn't want to leave his mind. Throughout the live music he brings to the cafe, he can't stop fantasizing about the magic of meeting Kai again.

And the miracle really came, without him expecting at all.

The light on the pelican crossing showed red, which meant it cannot be crossed yet. But across the street, the person he had been looking for was standing staring at him. Just like him — he and his lover both froze. The cars moving between them blocked his view, but Soobin was sure that on the other side of the house was the person he missed the most — his boyfriend, Kai.

Twenty seconds passed so slowly for Soobin. Just a countdown of the traffic lights and a few meters separating them. Soobin really wanted to run right now, grabbed the boy back into his arms, and not let go anymore. But his feet stuck to the ground. He couldn't move.

The light on the pelican crossing turned to green. Young women in front of him had walked across, but Soobin was still flabbergasted. It was like Kai's sharp gaze stabbed him. That opportunity could slip away from his hands again if he didn't immediately grab Kai.

Forcing himself a little, he finally ran towards Kai. Hoping to close the distance, he didn’t mind hitting the crowd. One thing Soobin didn't expect, Kai now turned his back and walked further away from him.

He reached the other side of the road. The sign on the pelican crossing had turned red again, but his lover was no longer standing there. At that moment, reality hit Soobin until he was even more devastated. Kai really left, and didn’t give him a chance to start over.


End file.
